still separated, in limbo, still hopeful

[newmama]

Well tonight was interesting- I went to a meet up group and it was advertised differently than what it was- I thought it was supposed to be something about learning to live your best life-- plus there was wine and food, haha!

First off, I was sure to leave the house looking foxy- who knew who would be there? And pretty sure WH noticed haha!

When I showed up, it turns out that it was almost like speed dating which made me almost walk out the door- umm not ready for that. Well they had us meet another person we don't know, then join another duad and answer certain q's. This was for the purpose of making new friends or finding a romantic interest.

An attractive guy started talking to me- well actually I started talking to him! I asked him what he was drinking and then he picked up the conversation. He was in very good shape and mentioned that he worked out (a few times at least in our conversation). If I was seriously interested in dating I would have said something like "Oh I can tell!" or "Oh, I noticed!" but I refrained. I just found myself thinking how the hell do I explain my sitch if some question comes up???Don't want to scare men away!We still chatted until someone interrupted us and then I went downstairs.It was good practice for remembering how to make small talk though.

When I headed downstairs and joined a couple of ladies who were talking about, amazingly enough, the neuroscience of falling in love (Whatnow are you reading this???)!

She mentioned that it takes about 15 months for the chemicals to fade and reality to set in- this is where people drift apart or stay together. Also that we should be looking for matches in others who get their "high" from the same things we do. Makes sense. But I never got to hear about the third thing which was that we go for complementary brain systems...not the same system as ours or something. But I didn't get to learn about it because we started our activity.

So I ended up talking to a couple men and a couple women, 2 of which were life coaches. The first life coach discussed how she has lived her life setting a goal, then taking steps to meet the goal and she has achieved everything she ever wanted. (I took a mental note!)

The second life coach first tried to "counsel" me with "guiding questions" but homey don't play that! (lol) so I turned it around and asked him about himself- well he was mentioning how he was trying to make a decision about whether he should take off to travel or keep his job. He meditates each morning and he said many times people want quick answers to life impacting questions like these because they feel uncomfortable and want to know what to do. He said that it is okay to be uncomfortable for awhile as you wait for an answer.(although you can't do this for every decision-just depends on the time!) I think this relates to whether you pray or meditate or...well I don't THINK you can get an answer if you don't choose one of those 2 paths! ???


So then I remembered- oh yeah, I am not single single anymore, I am single with a baby at home and I have to leave. I picked up a McDonald's ice cream cone on the way home and the attendant said "Where are you going? to a party? You look Niiiice!"
It made me feel so good! WHen I arrived to see WH in the house I was authentically lit up and rejuvenated from the night out. He showed me the baby gates he installed and I smacked him on the arm when he said something- I guess I was flirting but it wasn't intentional. He kept his body near mine as I checked his installation of the gates and tried them out.

That is pretty much it! I do recommend these meetup groups although I always feel nervous showing up alone but every time it works out!