Yeah, I do realize that she's acting like a little kid that's had her toys taken away. And I'm pretty sure that I hit a nerve or two between actually calling it an affair and just the fac that I took the power away from her.
Hang in there. DO NOT leave. Let her rage all she wants. Stay cool. You can do it. Once when my W was raging, I calmly held up a mirror at her without looking up from the book I was reading. She asked me what the hell that was for, so I told her it was so she could see how she was acting. She got pissed, but calmed down soon after.
All calm and cool.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
God, she's being soooo mature right now. She's walking around the house still talking to OM as loud as she possibly can just to make sure I can hear her laughing and asking me questions about when I'm going to turn the internet back on. After I told her that I'm not arguing with her, she waltzed back to her bedroom with a sarcastic night honey, love you.
No sweat off your back. She's showing you a colour that is very nasty, and you may as well look at it as lucifer itself.
The mockery it makes of you, no real wife would make of their husband - especially if he is or trying to do right.
You need to laugh at it. From in your soul and in your presense. Your going to a different type of success story, because I don't know if this one is going to change it up.
It has nothing to do with any inadequecy in you. Its all about wickedness and evil.
Don't sweat it, keep talking with us and stay on what your on.
Don't threaten her verbally. After a while with these tactics she may have to leave the premise.
Yeah, and I know part of this is probably A. she's trying to show off since she's on the phone with OM. B. She knows how to push my buttons and is trying to get me worked up so she's not the only one overreacting and flipping out. C. Just freaking out because she doesn't have control anymore and on top of that, I've never been more calm. Which I know is why she's mocking me. She doesn't have any other way to try and get some sort of power back over me. It's kinda weird seeing her like this. I never really expected her to turn into this.
I haven't even come close to threatening her in any shape. She's going her best friends house, who she works with, after work tomorrow for the weekend, so she'll be gone soon enough.
Well, she did calm down. Couple of weird moments though. She asked me if I wanted to stay living here as roomates, instead of selling the house. Weird question. Then, a little bit later, she said, "we can stay married.". I said yeah, but a lot of things would have to be worked on and a lot of things would have to change. She said yEah, for starters, I would want this to be an open marriage. So, I laughed and said, well, not really going to work for me. She says yeah, figured you'd say that, just thought I'd ask.
She said she will stay married if she can talk to OM and others. LOL. Completely logical in her mind. And let me guess you take all this responsibility of her, pay bills, love her - while getting into a lifestyle you didn't sign up for. You may catch a disease or have to fathers someone elses child through your own wife.
I want to see what Allan A and the others have to say.
Me: 45 WAW: 45 | M22 | T25 | No Kids Nov 09 W Filed | Dec 09 Separation Mar 17 2010 Divorce Papers Signed | Divorce Hearing Cancelled Moved back home May 2010 PA Confirmed June 2010 | W left Dec 7 2010
It did feel good to stand up to her. It's funny, I wasn't that upset about the fact that she was talking to another guy, just that she blatenly ignored me. But now that she's so pissed at me, doesn't that just push her closer to him? Shell bitch about what I did, he'll tell her how childish and sad it was for me to do that, and now they just have more to bond over?
Yes, in the short term it will give them something to commiserate about, but the longer-term gain is that you've garnered some long-lost RESPECT back. You need that ingredient right now more than you need her goodwill.
GOOD FOR YOU FOR FINALLY STANDING UP TO HER, CG!!!
Who pays for her cellphone? I don't remember. Whatever you do, do NOT leave your own home!!!
Well, she did calm down. Couple of weird moments though. She asked me if I wanted to stay living here as roomates, instead of selling the house. Weird question. Then, a little bit later, she said, "we can stay married.". I said yeah, but a lot of things would have to be worked on and a lot of things would have to change. She said yEah, for starters, I would want this to be an open marriage. So, I laughed and said, well, not really going to work for me. She says yeah, figured you'd say that, just thought I'd ask.
So, pretty calm after that. Now, what do I do?
CG,
Why would you laugh at such a disrespectful comment? Better to just stare at her, incredulously, and say "Wow. Unbelievable." or something similar.
What you do now is prepare to enforce the next boundary, because she's about to test you again. I assume this will be the "talking loudly to OM on her cellphone in front of you" thing. How are you going to handle that?
Fortunately, I didn't have this big of a problem with my wife. She pretty much respected my boundaries (no talking to OM from within our home; no texting him or talking to him ANYWHERE in front of me and the kids; if you're going to come home that late (after 1am), don't bother coming home," etc.). And she NEVER would have blatantly disrespected me with the "open marriage" joke.
Puppy
Unfortunately, I think your wife is so used to walking on you that you're going to have a series of tests here in the short-term that you're going to have to handle.
