Ominus Bonus

[steady]

So yesterday I had my meeting with my lawyer to discuss the psychologists report. It actually turned out better than I expected.

The lawyer basically summarized the different points in the report hw thought was important. Neither my W nor I can actually get a copy of the report or even read it. Only our lawyers can look at it.

I was very pleased with the assessment the psychologist did. He nailed my W's issues to a T. He said she has an alcohol problem and recommended her to go to treatment for it. He identified her exaggeration and embellishment issue. He also talked about how my W thinks she can do no wrong and I can do no right. He also said she basically treats me like I'm a child. lol

These are all issues I have brought up to her throughout our relationship so it's no surprise to me. I'm just glad the psychologist was able to see them and report on them.

The psych said I would be a better co-parent because of my W's issue where she thinks it's her way or the highway. He said she would be less cooperative in a co-parenting role.

The psychologist talked about some of my things - the bipolar, but he said with the right meds my mood would be stable, he indicated some OCD issues, and also that I am impatient and can be verbally aggressive. All issues I already am aware of and working on.

He also said my D is more attached to my W and my S is more attached to me. He said my S enjoys my temperament more because we are more similar.

The psych also gave me 50/50 physical custody over the summer and the Christmas and Easter breaks. This kind of baffled my L because he wondered why I have 50/50 for those and not 50/50 during the school year.

At the end of Jan while we were still both in the house my W and I had an argument. I was in my room laying on my bed with my laptop on my lap. The argument ended when she left my room. She then returned a few minutes later and restarted the argument. Unbeknownst to me she had a tape recorder on her. I told her to leave my room a few times but she just stood there talking. I started to tell her to get the f*&k out of my room. Then she said, "Do you realize you are saying all this with your daughter right here?"

My D was just outside my door. She took that tape recording and sent it to the psychologist. Well, my L said it worked against her. The psych said she could have just left the room when I asked her to, or at least taken my D downstairs. He commented that my language and demeanor was inappropriate, which it was, but said my W was basically using my D as a pawn to get something on me. So the psych saw my W's behavior as very inappropriate. So that was a good thing because I wondered how that would look.

The psych also said my W was immature with her attitude about acting like everything is everyone else's fault.

The psych recommended my W get treatment for the alcohol dependency and he also said my W and I should go to counseling to work on the issues where she thinks she can do no wrong - to help us co-parent. I really don't see that happening but who knows.

Basically my L said we'll tell them to give me 50/50 or sue for D. There is no legal action and so far everything we have done has been voluntary. My L said she has no grounds for a D so lets put the pressure on them. My W also has a past which she doesn't want to come up so that may work against her.

So overall the meeting went very well and I was pleased with the psych assessment of the issues.

Yesterday I had my S and we went out to dinner. We came home and played ball in the yard. I pitched wiffle balls to him and he hit. I took a picture of him with the bat and sent it to my W. I constantly do stuff like that although she doesn't reciprocate.

My S said he likes hanging with me better than my W and it was nice to hear that. Although I know he like being with her too. It's just that we do different things than what he does with her.

We were originally going to swap and I was going to take my D and she was going to take my S. But the two of them fussed so much we kept it the way we usually do Wed's.

Today I had both kids. I took my D to get a manicure and pedicure at the local salon. She was totally pampered. Feet in the jacuzzi water, lotion on her feet and legs with a massage, same with her hands. She had a really good time. My S was great. The girl who did my D let my S put his feet in the other jacuzzi bath and he sat there for a while. She was really good to my kids.

I sent my W about 3 pictures of my D getting her toes and fingers done. I always try to do that so my kids feel she is included in these things. I tell them I am sending the pictures and they often record something to go with the pictures.

After that we went to Friday's for dinner. We came home and I got them ready for bed. While at the restaurant I txt my W to tell ask her if she minded giving them a bath tomorrow when she has them since we were running kind of late. She said it wouldn't be a problem. I did this for her a few weeks ago when she had them on a Thurs and couldn't get around to a bath.

Anyway that's the update for now.