How much info do you think your BIL is passing to your WH about your situation?
I HOPE he's not giving your H ANY information.
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Your H has so many individual issues right now he is NOT prepared to be the man you need him to be, seriously. Just backburner this guy for now until he's grown up... you have SO MUCH MORE to do right now... pregnancy and motherhood is a lot of work and preparation... you honestly don't have the time to chase this guy around like this.
I suspect when labour comes around you will break down and call your H and he will show up and be all smiles and then run away gain when things get challenging again...
My advice is to tell your H in a detailed email that you don't want him to have anything to do with parenting. I would tell him he's not welcome to the child birth. I would tell him he's a terrible father so far and you are cutting your loses on him.
Tell him when he grows up you might consider introducing him to his child.
Check with legal on this, I know its pushing it... but i had to get extreme to make my point.
You need to SHOW him that he is NOT part of your marriage anymore.
He wants to be married when its COMFORTABLE for him. As soon as it gets at all awkward, he's GONE... this is NOT marriage, its called fairthweather commitment...
INSURANCE companies behave like this... when YOU are paying them they are all smiles... but if you have to make a CLAIM... They don't recall ever knowing you... and if you corner them they short change you...
Your husband is as reliable as an auto insurance company... and I do NOT like insurance companies.
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Regarding your position on him.
OK, maybe your pospting here is a pseudo-journal and you need to let your feelings out.. bear in mind your readers will infer from this as how you are acting in the real world. I certainly am.
Remember in early grade school when a student misbehaved they give him LINES to write out on the board?
I will not set my teacher on fire I will not set my teacher on fire I will not set my teacher on fire I will not set my teacher on fire I will not set my teacher on fire I will not set my teacher on fire I will not set my teacher on fire
Something like that?
Well, why do you think they give them THAT SPECIFIC line to write out? Because when people type or write something it RESONATES with thier mind. It STICKS in there stronger.
So, what I am going to suggest is that if you HAVE to write
I love him I miss him He's a wonderful man
1. Keep that to a minimum becuase this is NOT good positive reinforcement for you... It is giong to make you ILL. 2. Always FOLLOW UP with
1. I love MYSELF and my CHILD and my MARRIAGE and deserve better 2. I love my life and my dreams and deserve better 3. I will not allow destructive behaviour into my life 4. I will not expose my child to unreliable people 5. I will be an independent and self-sufficient single-mom
THESE five and others have to resonate in you. Most of your posts read as if you are falling apart, rather than building a strong, stable, healthy life for you and your child.
We worry, that's all... you have to REMOVE yourself from your husband's DRAMA.. let him spin and worry and whine and fear... its NOT your PROBLEM... its HIS... but when you interact with him AT ALL... even THINKING about him... you bring that STRESSFUL WORLD OF HIS INTO YOUR HEAD
NO MORE DRAMA... look in the mirror and tell yourself that..
Tell your BIL that.. "I don't want to hear about that drama queen anymore..."
