Show of hands - expose or not - success stories

[25yearsmlc]

Passenger, can you quickly give me an update on the marriage length b/c I thought your old signature said something but now I'm not finding it. How long is the M and how long have the problems/bombs been going on?

Also you are not really answering my question about being with THIS man. I am asking, in essence, for you to look deep within and see how much of this is fear of being alone, versus being married to HIM...this matters. Until you have the strength to INSIST and ACT ON your boundaries whatever the consequences, you risk being a doormat and prolonging, not shortening, his mistreatement of you. I daresay you may decrease the chance of the restoration of your marriage, if you enable too much for too long. That's the risk I'm addressing. I am well aware of the other side of this--i.e., too much of our pride or anger getting in the way of forgiveness. But there are risks to either approach.

Most important in EACH sitch is, Which way do you feel you have leaned so far, and what has been working? What hasn't worked? Have you given these approaches enough time to gauge accurately? Is there a line he cannot cross? What would that look like? What would you do if he crossed it? You have to know these things. The kids benefit by a marriage staying together BUT not at all costs. There are other lessons too....like setting and enforcing boundaries that anyone with healthy self esteem would do. And you know, your h may end up respecting you a lot more if you do that. And most importantly, you'd feel better about yourself and teach your step kids a big lesson in life.

You know, I read something the other day that caught my eye: the one thing worse than being alone, is wishing you were...

Dig deep. If the answer were clear or easy, you'd have it. It's probably neither.

j-