I just really think the more I go dark then my b thinks I don't care so why shouldn't he file for d?
Going dark is for your sanity. Your H can't see where you're at: figuratively, literally, metaphorically. This helps you heal yourself. It isn't to punish/teach H a lesson, anything of that ilk.
I'm going thru same thing w/my H. He still hasn't filed. Or done anything other than get more firmly enmeshed in his A. Dark for me has been a Godsend. I'm taking care of me and not obsessing over H/OW/A.
Make sense?
M & H: 40 M: 5.5 T: 7.5 OW: 7/09 Bomb: 9/09 Sep: 3/10 H files 7/10
