While you are dark why don't you re-read everything that has been posted to you. Sit down and think about it. REALLY think about it. Dig out the nuggets of wisdom that have been seeded and allow them to grow.
You say you are new here... that is NOT true. You joined this board April 9, 2006... That's a long time for you to say that you are new to this and don't know what you are doing. You had FOUR years to read through the advice on the board, yet you chose not to. That in itself raises question that I will not ask.
Good luck to you James and I hope God gives you true clarity.
M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married 4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT