Just found out she already filed

[ClingingToHope]

For a long time D11 held onto hope that it would all work out with our M. She finally gave up about two months ago. She's been down ever since.

Whenever I'm with D7, she'll introduce me to people this way, "this is my dad. He doesn't live with my mom anymore. He's getting divorced." Still, though a couple of times in the past few weeks she'll ask if mommy and me are getting back together.

I know STBXW has told both of them we aren't getting back together. She doesn't want them to hold on to hope.

I'd tell your DD that you'll always love her mom but you'll have a different kind of family in the future.

Hey, on the money thing. My STBXW makes MORE money than me and yet I really enabled her early on. When I moved out last May I left $2,000 in the bank for her and then just took minimal amounts the first month I was gone.

The first thing she did was go out and charge a $2,000 swing set -- on a joint account -- because I told her two weeks before we couldn't afford it.

The person I was staying with made me get an apartment because he didn't want me to continue to finance her lifestyle. I justified the actions by thinking we'd eventually get back together and I didn't want to lose the house.

It did me no good at all. It allowed her to have quite a fun summer while I worked weekend jobs for extra money and to occupy my mind.

It wasn't until September that she started to feel the financial pinch and now I got an email about some loan she's trying to take.

You can be a nice guy without offering her money. Right now, in her warped brain, she isn't thinking "Boy, isn't SR great. That's so nice." She's thinking either you're a chump or that you don't think she can make it on her own.

My STBXW thought that way. When I offered to help, she was offended.

You need to save that money so DD doesn't grow up poor. I wonder now how much better shape I'd be in if I hadn't basically given her $4,000 last year.