I think most of the things I'm angry about are valid: 1. Driving my car without a license 2. Paying rent on a rehearsal space he does not use, while not helping me with shared bills (utilities, rent) 3. Smoking in the house and in my car
Given, a lot of my anger and resentment also comes from relationship stuff, which I usually try to vent here.
I understand what you're saying and, more importantly why I should keep my cool, but how do I address these non-relationship problems? I've never been dependent on anyone, worked hard to send myself through school, never borrowed money, etc. and it just seems a little backwards to me to sit here and play doormat when he is obviously taking advantage of me.
There has to be a line, a boundary. My line is the blatant disrespect he is showing by smoking in the house and skipping out on bills.
I have a problem with truely, purely unconditional love because it's like saying "you can treat me as poorly as you want and I'll still love you." That kind of love, imho, is reserved for a parent-child relationship.
As for 180s, mine have been to not constantly seek affection and attention as I had in the past, let him pursue me, not bring up relationship talk, not expect him to entertain me when I'm bored.
He doesn't say hurtful things or pick fights ever, never has. He is just a brick wall. He ignores me. It's like I don't even exist and if I told him I was leaving, he would just say ok.
I know it doesn't sound like it, but I really do hear, and agree with what you're saying. I guess what I'm having trouble with is putting boundaries on it. You told your wife you would divorce after a year of no change, and you changed yourself as well.
How do I create a situation where I keep up with my 180s and learn how to love him in his way, and at the same time make a boundary where I'm not being put in danger of losing my car, my apartment or my health?
