Huband is having an emotional affair

[ALJ]

H called today to talk to the kids and we somehow got on us and our problems. H has conveyed to me that basically that our marriage is over. He stands by his alibi that his mind has been "gone" for years and I should face the fact that he has moved on. He thinks that our separation is a license for him to be with OW and if he could have, he would have signed separation papers before he walked out our door to move away but didn't have the money to file. I disagree, H has had plenty of money to file if he wanted, instead, he needed that money to fund his getaway. He flat out refused to go to counseling because he does not need anyone to tell him what our problems are or were, we already know and no one can force him to feel love for me.

I don't know why I tried to reason with him, it is no use. He goes on to say that he tried to tell me and talk to me about us not spending any time together and me putting everyone before him but I did not listen and we would have been having the same problems to this day so he had to leave. He couldn't take it anymore and now I want to all of a sudden work on our marriage. I guess he thinks that I am bitter. He says the problems were both our fault but it sounded like he was mostly blaming me. I asked him why he chose to get involved with OW, after all, we are still married and he replied "what am I supposed to do, be alone forever?" I said something to him about me raising the kids by myself and he replied that "that is not true because they can come spend the summers with me but meanwhile, at least they will see me whenever I can get up here as opposed to not seeing me at all." From the sounds of it, his mind is made up.

Surprisingly, I am not sad from this conversation. I steeled myself through the whole thing. Not to say that I won't feel hurt about it later on tonight. I just have to face reality. Maybe my marriage won't be saved but I am not giving up. I do love him and unfortunately for him, he does not love me.