Initially I chose to go dark because my in-laws (who are deeply religious people) welcomed OW with open arms. They still wanted a close relationship with me though, but I am not sure how much of that had to do with the children. My MIL's words to me when she found out about the affair was, "things like this happen all the time, you just have to put up with it or move on". My FIL asked me what I did to "make him cheat on me". He is by the way the youth minister in a very large and prosperous church in town. Ex and I had been married for 20 year and dated for 5. I thought I new my in laws and needless to say was devastated by their reaction or rather lack of reaction regarding what ex had done. What even surprised me more was their lack of concern for their grandchildren on how this would effect them.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
