Too Late For Us?

[mrbt]

Just Journaling . . .
I am starting to mentally prepare myself my new life as a single person. Its difficult to wrap my mind around this concept being that wife and I have been a couple for 25 years. Ever since the ILYBNILWY-Bomb in June of 2009, my entire life has been about trying to save our marriage ( however, I will be the first to admit, I have been a terrible practitioner of the DB principles ). On Tuesday morning our marriage will "officially" be dissolved and its going to be very weird for me. I have been focused on her for so long, I think I forgot how to be me.

[timehealsall]

(((((((((((mrbt)))))))))))

[idontunderstand]

Stay strong, buddy!

Hopefully, the best is yet to come!

[Ken62]

mrbt,

My WAW was also sexually abused but I don't believe as bad as yours was. This was definitely an issue in our M and 8 years ago she went into therapy to help her heal from it. She believes that she has because she believes that she is "lovable" and that not many sexual abuse victims can say that. I still have strong doubts and the fact that her EA just recently became a PA before our D is final gives me even more pause. The bedroom was the one place that we really connected but very little of it was initiated by her. She always felt obligated because if she didn't then I would go and have an affair. Interesting how that all turned out.

Anyway my thoughts are with you and I do know what you are talking about. I just sent a text to my W yesterday informing her that I am done and have not heard a word from her since. I'm not sure how this is affecting her and I am also worried about her but she wanted to keep me around as a backup and I can not do that for me or my kids. I worry abourt her mental state and whether she mighthave a break down of some sort and I hope if she does that she reaches out to the right people. It tears my heart apart to know that the woman I have grown to love these 25 years is throwing it all away on a whim but I can't control her or her actions.

Best of luck to you!

[mrbt]

I just checked the court's website and found that our hearing date has been published. It not news to me but seeing in there in black and white, officially posted as a legal announcement, really gives me the creeps.

[Number 8]

Thanks 8. Just waiting for Tuesday to come and go.

No one could blame you for feeling like that. Please try to think of yourself and take care of you over the weekend.

I'm sorry for your pain. Thinking of you.

[mrbt]

I think I am going to have a very difficult time with this detachment thing. It seems like wife wants to spend more and more time together now that the divorce is imminent. She has been sleeping over on a fairly regular basis. Until she actually moves away its going to be tough (she lives about 50 yards away in another apartment).

[timehealsall]

can you stay with a relative or a friend? you need your space! you have far too much going on!

[Number 8]

What plans do you have this weekend, mrbt? Will you do something you enjoy? I'll be mowing the yard while Boxer dog barks and chases me. Don't be jealous.

[mrbt]

I know this is weird but . . . wife came over last night; she cooked dinner and stayed over night. This morning will be taking a long scenic drive. Tomorrow she works - I will be home doing whatever. When we are together things feel "normal" and I forget what's happening. I don't know how I will act come Tuesday.