My wife would cuddle and want to make love and it was great. The next morning, she would say, nothing has changed, I'm still not in love with you, I was just horny. We are married and married people do have sex.
When she pulled that, it just tore me up. I never ever thought that I would hear that out of my wife's mouth. She has given birth to our four wonderful children and this isn't something that woman would say or do.
I know you've heard it all before, but these people are not the ones that we married. Try to remember that. You're H is gone right now. Maybe not for good, but for now he is not the person that you remember.
Follow the advice you have been given: GAL, 180's, detach, patience, etc. It is hard. You will backslide from time to time. I can't fully detach yet either. When you/we do, their actions will not cause us any undue pain. You are resposible for you. Period.
It is harder with little ones. I get that 100%. I think the fear of what a S or D would do to them holds me back somewhat. Our spoused don't seem to care, though, and we can't make them see what they don't want to. The only thing that will is for them to experience that loss themselves.
It sucks, I know. All we can do is work on ourselves. Be the better person and make sure when the kids are old enough, they will know we did everything we could to make things work out.
