Listen to Sandi!!!!!!! She knows of which she speaks.
We all have to do what we need to do in our own time. If I would have listened to Sandi and Puppy and others, maybe I would be in a better place now. Instead, I made more mistake and thought my sitch was different. Guess what, it's not.
I still make mistakes, but learn from them and try not to repeat them. You will have to do things that are not comfortable for yourself. Things aren't so great right now anyway, right.
This is the hardest thing you will ever do. Listen and learn, be brave and know you can do it!
Thanks for the encouragement. I'll try and respond to everything in a few minutes, but I have a situation just pop up and was hoping someone could help. Like I said, I've more or less stopped taking care of her, not being mean, but not falling over myself to help her. Well, we haven't talked all day today, and I just got an email from her that just says "why are you ignoring me?" What's the best way to respond to that?
Let it go for awhile. You can contact her tomorrow and say "hey I was out and didn't get your message". "Well gotta go."
Keep things short and sweet like she is the last thing on your mind. You're not being a d*ck about it. You're just showing her that you have other things more important than her.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
well, the problem with that is she would know that's a blatant lie. She sent it to my work email, which I have to constantly check and she knows that I wouldn't have "missed" an email.
It is all a game. Why are you ignoring her? If you respond, obviously you are NOT ignoring her. These little texts are sort of like tests to see if she still has her hooks in you and to what degree she still controls you. She plays the guy on the internet in the evening and you in the day.
Why are you ignoring me?? I would ignore that. Do not even respond.
Why are you being an ass all of a sudden, do not respond. Do not get sucked into juvenile stuff like that. BTW, when you start really standing up for yourself, she is gonna say stuff way, way way worst to you than that.
I would respond to about every 5th text. If you have to respond to why are you ignoring me, the answer might be, "I am not interested in interacting with a cheating wife." Then say NO more.
It is easy for me to say now, having been in your place however this thread, to me, reads that you have a wife/sitch that is manageable but you need to get the balls to really stand up for yourself.
Yes she will get pissed, it is clear you are terrified of rocking the boat...boat gotta get rocked. There is no other way.
Me 44 She 46 S13 D9 M18 T23 3 years DB'ing Successfully busted
Thanks for that. And yeah, I didn't respond to her asking me why I'm ignoring her.
Yeah, I started this whole thing wrong. I was terrified of pretty much everything. I didn't stand up to her, I did everything wrong. Begged, pleaded my case, became unreasonable, ect. We all know the bad stuff. I've really felt like over the last few days that I have started standing up for myself. I think that right now, we're at a point where she's trying to figure out just how serious I am or if I'm just going to end up backing back down again. I know that I've got to be more assertive and when I do, don't start falling back into my old ways and backtrack. I know that's what she's waiting for. I'm just trying to find that balance between standing up for the boundaries that I laid out yesterday and what I've said so that she knows that I am serious and that, yeah, maybe I do have a backbone; and just coming off like an ass that's just being spiteful and childish.
It is almost always a work in progress. Most of us started the same way. Just try to do better tomorrow than today. You get stronger as your fear lessons and your fear lessons as you get stronger.
DO NOT backtrack or back down. You had weeks, if not months, to the process each time she calls your bluff and wins
Me 44 She 46 S13 D9 M18 T23 3 years DB'ing Successfully busted
