Hey James. I am extremely impatient. I just go into panic mode when he goes back. This small country is where he had his A and had met the OW. It makes me ill
he has alot of resentment towards me. I don't know how long he will be gone. I am working now. Our finances are in the toilet.
M: 32 H: 34 S:5 D: 3 D: 1 Together 11 years Married 7 Bomb: PA/EA 8/13/09 (for 1 year on and off) ILYBINILWY: 08/09
"The end of suffering happens with the end of wanting." -Laura Munson
Hey James. I am extremely impatient. I just go into panic mode when he goes back. This small country is where he had his A and had met the OW. It makes me ill
he has alot of resentment towards me. I don't know how long he will be gone. I am working now. Our finances are in the toilet.
so what are your goals? So OW is over there too? ok I can understand how you feel now.
he's probably full of frustration because of alot of little things that have piledup over time. It'll take awhile for him to get over it.
Any boundaries set?
when you get a chance look at my sitch maam. lol
is he at home now? does he want a d? has it been brought up at all lately? are you light and happy around him and fun loving?
waw 36 (spiritual covenant and common law marriage)me 32 together 13 mos. Bomb dropped march 2nd 2010
children SD (8) S (10) S (3) need help from anyone with my sitch
with a new dude. Engaged to him and pregnant with the new dude's baby.
But my insecurities are so high.
Our main problem now is him and his whole ilybinilwu crap. He thinks we should S so he can focus on our finances bc he can't think about our marriage right now. We r in MC and he has told her this. He is not sure if he even wants this marriage but yet he is still going to MC and hasn't filed for S. He also thinks that by S he will miss me and appreciate what he has. He also holds alot of resentment towards me. Thinks the A was my fault because I was unmoving towards him.
I need someone with me with a yard stick to whack me whenever I get the idea to start a fight with him.
It's just so hard to even believe that this is my H. It's like watching an imposter.
He is just stone cold. Hollow. Empty.
I need to detach and GAL. Just very hard with three little ones you know?
He is still out.
M: 32 H: 34 S:5 D: 3 D: 1 Together 11 years Married 7 Bomb: PA/EA 8/13/09 (for 1 year on and off) ILYBINILWY: 08/09
"The end of suffering happens with the end of wanting." -Laura Munson
Hi - I will read more about your sitch later, but...
If you can do a search, find my earliest threads. I think they would be quite helpful in - coming off of turmoil, and coming in to domestic peace. I did that very well. Too well, in fact. But, it will get you to a place of being able to think, grow, and act appropriately. I just hope it doesn't take you two years to get it, like me!
HUGS!!!
Lots of little ones! Do you get much of a break?
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Hi - I will read more about your sitch later, but...
If you can do a search, find my earliest threads. I think they would be quite helpful in - coming off of turmoil, and coming in to domestic peace. I did that very well. Too well, in fact. But, it will get you to a place of being able to think, grow, and act appropriately. I just hope it doesn't take you two years to get it, like me!
HUGS!!!
Lots of little ones! Do you get much of a break?
I will go look now..I think if I just kept my cool and just worried more on myself and not on him, I'd be better off. I just have a hard time accepting that this is my life right now. I loathe him for doing this...
Well I work FT and he works from home when he isn't overseas. Being that he is going back on Monday, now I'll have to disrupt the kids schedules and have to depend on others to make sure my kids get to where they need to go. it sucks
M: 32 H: 34 S:5 D: 3 D: 1 Together 11 years Married 7 Bomb: PA/EA 8/13/09 (for 1 year on and off) ILYBINILWY: 08/09
"The end of suffering happens with the end of wanting." -Laura Munson
He just told me that we shouldn't go to therapy tonight because there is no point at all. Seems he has made his mind up on not wanting to work things out. He also said that he doesn't want to argue tonight (last 2 sessions have been complete complaining sessions (more him complaining about me than vice versa).
He said we are friends. (OUCH)
What do I do now? I have told him that will go regardless of whether he goes or not.
Last edited by timehealsall; 04/15/1006:41 PM.
M: 32 H: 34 S:5 D: 3 D: 1 Together 11 years Married 7 Bomb: PA/EA 8/13/09 (for 1 year on and off) ILYBINILWY: 08/09
"The end of suffering happens with the end of wanting." -Laura Munson
Because he's an ass, and he's lost, and panicking that he's losing you and wanting to make this all YOUR fault.
I'm so sorry about the cellphone. Just tell him "Considering all you've put me thru with your affair, I needed a support group. Please give me my phone back, and respect my privacy."
do NOT apologize for anything you've done in this regard!!!
Because he's an ass, and he's lost, and panicking that he's losing you and wanting to make this all YOUR fault.
I'm so sorry about the cellphone. Just tell him "Considering all you've put me thru with your affair, I needed a support group. Please give me my phone back, and respect my privacy."
do NOT apologize for anything you've done in this regard!!!
Puppy
Thanks Puppy..
I hope he didn't know to access my journal I have on there.
What an a$$.
I have not and will not apologize for anything. I told him to enjoy himself because I have nothing to worry about or to hide.
What is your take on him not wanting to go to therapy? (another thing to add is that he has an alumni game tonight (he plays all sorts of sports) and it's at the same time as our session; he thought our session was scheduled for tomorrow and not tonight) Do you think that's the reason he putting it off? Even though I plan on going solo to the session, he will have to watch the kids, so he won't be able to go to the game. or is it just typical WAS avoidance on the situation?
He is set to leave to go overseas on Monday.
Part of me cannot wait until he leaves so I can have some peace and get my head together. And I plan on not making any contact with him. If he wants to, then so be it. Last time he was away, I have countless numbers of emails from him and skype messages telling me how much he misses me and couldn't wait to come home. I know that things were good with us when he first got back and perhaps I got too comfortable and stopped really doing as I should (DBing more) and I did allow him to get the best of me at certain times which led us to quarrel a bit from time to time.. but does he think that life/marriage will be all hunky dory?
M: 32 H: 34 S:5 D: 3 D: 1 Together 11 years Married 7 Bomb: PA/EA 8/13/09 (for 1 year on and off) ILYBINILWY: 08/09
"The end of suffering happens with the end of wanting." -Laura Munson
