Gno's right - no guys. I just hadn't felt anything for anyone but my H so long, it was nice to feel like I"m not dead. That's all.
As for my anti anxiety-medicine I just received a doctor's prescription and it's the mildest I could take = I don't do under the radar stuff like H. will continue to be monitored by the doctor and frankly this stuff is getting me through the crisis.
I know I let him bully me into telling him. I tried to keep it from him for days and he kept pushing and mocking and thrratening and as usual I caved.For instance, our settlement agreement says he pays for childcare. When I asked for him to pay for a morning camp during spring break for S, he says "Why should I pay for a camp so that you can rest from some mysterious illness you're ihding from me?" If he thought I was lying or manipulating, I had to tell the truth. STuff like that I get cought in.
I regret it now. Believe me I do. I"m not looking for sympathy from him. I wanted to up front also because if he does try to take me to court for custody, he might as well know the truth instead of fabricating something. Actually the medication is mild and helping me enormously so how can this be seen as a problem.
Believe me, he doesn't want to fight custody. He has a nice cozy 50% now. If he wants more than that he'll have to go to court and I have a lot of stuff against him too and he won't want that fight.
