Phil, Sorry to have you here... My sit is almost identical to yours. I spent our marriage allowing my W to do just about whatever she wanted (careers, degrees, hobbies, remodeling, houses) only to be treated like a disposable item.
You need to GAL asap! Your kids know what is up. My W spends more time on FB that talking to our kids. The sooner you can read DR/DB the better. Read a number of other threads. The veterans have lots of good advice.
Hold it together friend - there are many of us in this together.
