Need a Plan for My Marriage

[LSG]

Sandie2 - I am not playing pity on myself. The sitch is what it is. I have to move forward. I know who I am, and what I have done. None of it has been weakness. I have been frustrated, but I have never given up trying. That shows my character even if she does not see it.

DaddyLongShanks - I know what you mean in your response to Sandie2. I see the differing points-of-view, and I respect both. There is probably truth in what you both have written. I see my wife as showing weakness and neediness to have an affair other than trying to help change the sitch. We made decisions together as a partnership even though there have been some role reversals. We both have to live with the decisions we made together.

Just writing here - I do not find our marriage to be a partnership at the moment, so I am making decisions as a human being that will be best for me and the kids regardless of sex or expected roles that society suggest are the norm. I am a man and that has never changed and never will. I am proud of who I am and what I have done for my family even though she may not be. I cannot change that. To her it is about money plain and simple. It always has been. She said,"I think I have never loved you," and that may be true. I have put her career before mine since she had been working longer, and I respected that to the detriment of myself. I will not do that again. I thought I was being a man and good person to respect her for providing for the family, but she disrespects me for that. Well too bad. Anyways, I have done what I thought was right, and I will not give up my values who does not value me. She has to take responsibility for our sitch too. I should not be held to hirer standard than her when we made decisions together.

I hope what I have written makes sense. I mean no disrespect to anyone. I just hope for showing a little clarity in my sitch for those that read it.