Thank you, old friends. Thank god you're still around.
I will talk with the lawyers by the end of this month. Then I may have a clearer idea of how to handle this. What do you do when your H has turned into a forger and bigamist? I don't know either, but I'll find out and let you all know.
BTW, my old neck problem has flared up again from when that kid drilled me. I'm seeing a chiropractor now--no snapping of hte neck, but other methods of adjusting. Where a healthy neck curves, mine is straight. Where healthy vertebrae line up like a dotted line along the curve, mine have buckled so they make little V's to each other. No wonder it still hurts no matter what I do! I'm reopening my L & I claim with the chiropractor's help. I'm hopeful that this course of treatment will be the cure.
I wonder if I could file an L & I claim for my M...
Anyway, be well, friends. Let me know if you have any advice for me. I feel your good vibes all the time, and I hope you're getting mine as well.
Hi girlfriend! Sorry to hear you are still embroiled in this mess. Let go or be dragged. It's long past time to just let go and fly on into your fabulous new life.
I'm good, trying to get divorce paperwork done, looking to buy a new house. My kids have suffered and I'll never get over the ex choosing to put them through this pain, but we will all survive it. My life, however, is so good. I can't believe how happy I am without the ex's negative energy in my life. I have great friends, I'm playing the drums in a rock band class (picture School of Rock for grownups), and my new boyfriend is yummy. Once I let go of the ex, my life just got better and better.
Ellie, I didn't know that you were going thru a D. Part of me says bummer, but all of me cheers you on! How did you meet the boyfriend? This is something I think about a lot--how do I start over at 41? I'm practicing my people skills when I'm out with friends, but I'm not sure how the dating word works. Clue me in!
I was talking to my hairdresser one day about that very issue - how was I, as a 53 year old woman, going to meet eligible guys?
And she said "Go on Plentyoffish, everybody's doing it now"
So, just out of curiosity, I went online to see what single guys my age looked like.
Long story short, that's how I met my oh-so-geographically undesirable boyfriend. Sheer luck, really, when I look back.
My only advice - if you do go online, don't talk a long time before you meet. If you think they're interesting, meet for coffee quickly - odds are, they'll smell bad or you won't click. Get it out of the way. All too easy to develop an online "relationship" and then discover you don't click in real life.
Excellent, Ellie--thanks! Bummer about the geographically undesirable part, though.
FYI, I talked with DB coach Chuck this morning last minute. I called to make an appointment, and he was open in 5 minutes--must have been meant to be. We talked about my letter of release and how to give it to H--I will mail it to his home (with ow, which shows him that I know the truth and that we can deal with it openly. We also talked about how to say thank you and farewell to his family and about confronting ow witht he truth, which I am not comfortable with and consequently will not do. I absolutely believe that karma comes around and trust that the universe will settle their hash in the perfect way at the perfect time. Chuck's advice about meeting new people was to GAL and do th w things that bring me joy and make friendships that way--this helps avoid rebound Rs. Great convo, but very emotional.
I was also able to schedule an appointment wtih a L tomorrow afternoon--his last available this week, so again, meant to be. this is soemone a colleague used last year for her D, and I liked the way he treated her. We'll see what he has to say about the whole enchilada.
I'm on spring break right now and happy to call my time my own. I may go out of town this week for a day or two, but I'm not sure yet.
BTW, I've been asking H for 2 weeks to bring my sleeping bag and mat by in case I go on a trip this week. No reply. I texted last night: "Please don't let me down on this." He showed up in the early afternoon--hung out and talked about work, etc. Says he might be by later tonight. Kissed me many times. First time we've seen each other in 7 weeks. It would be so easy to just keep going this way, but I'm ready to be done--I know the truth. Boy is he going to be surprised!
KML & AMD... old times I know you both were around when I was first here like 4 years ago. Just wanted to pop in and say it's nice (i guess... considering the circumstances, hard to say that) to see you both.
AMD, it sucks that you're still in the mess. Whatever happens, I know you've put in the time to make your life better, and it will indeed be that. As long as I am around, I will check in on ya.
GH, I'm glad to hear from you...and bummed that you're around again. It does suck to still be in this mess, but it's my own choice. As terrifying as it is, I'm jumping off the crazy train.
Yes, terrifying. I just realized that last night as I caught up wtih a Ff that I've not been in touch with in ages. She asked how I'm feeling and I said, "Good, and sad." After I hung up, I asked myself the question again and felt the fear. Intellctually, I know that moving on is the healthiest thing I can do for myself now...but I love H. I still hope he'll surface, realize what a horrible mistake he's made, and work to create a new M with me. But if I hold my breath waiting for that day, I'll pass out.
Anyway, I like this L a lot. He has a ministerial background, which is cool. He sounds a lot like Chuck, actually. He says I can use the current D case but rewrite the papers to reflect the changes I want, then present them to H. There are no financial benefits to exposing H's crimes, so he advises me to use them as leverage if I need to but to let them go otherwise.
I'll deal with all that when my taxes are done (tedious) and when my choir concert is done (the weekend of 4/16). This is another place that I've really changed--I used to try to do it all at once. I am so much more relaxed when I go step by step.
amd, how was the L appt? I hope it doesn't put a total damper on your spring break and you get to use that sleeping bag. GH, nice to see ya but sorry you needed to return. kml, you're in the D process and dating and having hot sex?
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
