((CTH)) hugs bro! - are guys allowed to hug here? I hug my older bro!
First off, you're such an awesome dad, your kids are so lucky to have you in their lives. I know it's not easy with one kid and you've got two to take care of. You give me a lot of hope!
As for reading the stories, I read stories to my DD every night (she picks 2 books). Find a used book store or library and get a bunch of story books. Since you have an older girl too who can read you can maybe let her read one story to all of you before the prayers. There's a good book titled Chicken soup for the soul or something like that. Look it up on Amazon.
Time will heal everything so look forward to it, know that by Aug you'll be a lot better than you are today and by Dec even better and by next Dec who knows? you could be in a position to take your XW back at that point or move on.
I agree with what whatisis said. Don't hurt yourself anymore than needed. If you think the answer will be a no, don't do it. You've told her that you're willing to try again many times. It's up to her to believe it and try again. By saying it one more time won't change her mind - unless you've seen improvements in her behavior towards you or hints that she enjoys spending time with you etc. D is a piece of paper, sure it costs money and the guys are usually worse off financially even when we don't want it but still it doesn't mean the life stops. In fact, the very next day after the D you'll wake up somewhat relieved and she'll wake up feeling guilty.
Take care my friend and I'll keep checking in on you.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
