I don't know if I ever told this story, but around Dec. of last year, I had a dream that we were at her Grandma's house who has a lot of animals for the kids to play with. Besides dogs and cats, tame goats, rabbits, and a couple of coons that will eat right out of your hand. The kids were all haveing fun and we were sitting on a blanket watching them and saying how lucky we were to be blessed with such a great family. We cuddled and kissed and things were normal.
I was sleeping on the couch, and when I woke up, I was filled with peace and joy. It's like I was walking on air. I remember thinking to myself, why am I on the couch, I need to go to bed and snuggle with my wife. I got up, checked on the kids to make sure they were all covered up and walked towards our bedroom, all with a smile on my face and a spring in my step. It wasn't until I was almost to the room that reality started to come back. I hadn't realized until that moment, how much I had been hurting inside. What took months or maybe a year or so to build up in me came crashing down on me in a matter of seconds. From happy, almost elated, really, to the depths of my despair in that short amount of time, brought me to my knees. I walked back to the couch and cried and shook for what felt like hours. I think I cried myself to sleep.
Our dreams are, of course, what we remember as good times and what we want back so badly.
Sorry for the long winded response, but I hadn't thought about that in months. We would give anything to go back to simpler times when a touch meant something and just enjoying our families together was enough to make us happy.
