Mermaid, I'm sorry things didn't work out for your M. I want to thank you for the words of encouragement!
Fixer, my H was diagnosed 12yrs ago with depression. He was very angry and sad. I'm not saying that I was the perfect wife, but when they did find out the problem he had and put him on the AD's he was back to his old self for years.
Every time he went off of them he would change, becoming sad and snapping on me and the kids. But then I would talk him into taking them again and he would be fine. This time he had lied to me and kept telling me that he was taking them when I had a feeling he wasn't. He started to drink, snapping at the kids, snapping at me. I did not see this coming (him leaving). He started a fight on a Sunday went to Step-mother and father's came back after talking to them and fought with me until Thursday when he left. The day he left I found the bottle of his AD's and he hadn't taken them for 3 1/2 weeks prior to his leaving.
Since he has been gone he went on them again and was coming back to his old self but then stopped again. This happened twice. He is drinking really heavy now according to our D13.
Yes, I was crying and begging in the beginning I didn't realize I was pushing him away until I read the book and found this site. I have back slid some times also, but won't do it again! Not only do I think he is going through a major depression again, but also a MLC which includes depression.
I will wait for him to come to me. I'm the type of person that took care and takes care of everyone. I love to do it! I took care of him with not only his depression problems but also when he would be ill or in the hospital and suffered ceasars. I just know from this site that I can't help him now, and wish I could, just wish he would come to me like he has done in the past during our M and ask for help! I feel so bad for him, and I feel totally helpless.
