OH yes, didn't I tell you? THere's a gf. For months there's been a girlfriend. It was only recently confirmed. Right after the papers were signed and he claimed he didn't need to work on our R. Until the papers were signed, he told me we were in MC for a last ditch effort to see if reconsiliation is possible.
THat's why I had my crisis the past couple weeks.
I don't know how serious they are - but ya, that makes so much more sense. But he lied to me for so long. And now the spewing and the distance is back full force.
Retreated to my bedroom as planned and H didn't even say hi when I walked in. He often does if I started it but it showed me how cold he is. Things were like that anyhow when he used to live here.
CAt peeing on rug broke the ice. We had to talk about what to do with the darn cat as the whole house smells like his markings. At least H didn't get into "this house is a pit" mode, but he did get into "I told you days ago to get that other litter."
I walked away. Later I reminded him I had a sick child on the couch the past couple days and couldn't get to a store. THen he says "Well why didn't you text me to pick some up>" I walked away again - always it's "I told you " and "why didn't you" and I didn't want to hear it. Ya know, he knew there were litter issues and he knew our S was sick, but once again he couldn't be bothered to pitch in.
So that broke the dim for a few mintues but I'm glad I walked away.
Then he wanted to discuss my lab results too - when I had my collapse last week, I decided I needed to have a full physical before I determine this is psychological. Strangely, H has been all over this. A couple weeks ago, before I tried dim, I originally said I was not feeling well and it may or may not be long term and his only concern is how this affects our son and our health insurance. He kept pressuring me and pressuring me and teasing me about my "mysterious illness" and as always I wanted him to stop bullying so I've told him some things. He's actually weirdly brought me protein shakes and tried to get me on anti anxiety pills, and wanted to know the test results - I can't figure it out. From the man who wants to divorce me - it's too tempting to imagine he cares like he once did - perhaps instead does he just have to control everything?
So as much as I had planned to be in full dark mode - rejecting him - I had some brief convos.
Beyond that I said "I need to go to bed." because i was on the verge of tears as we talked about my health and I realized it could be hormonal and I"m so sad that I"m forty and probably never going to have another baby which I always wanted - just didn't want to go there so I excused myself and cried alone.
Why do I have the intuition he still is undecided even though he says he is done? Oh well, can't go there. Can't have any hope or expectations - only will be let down.
And there's a cute guy in my play who makes me blush. I'm terribly shy with guys which is why I rarely get dates, but I've given him a ride home a couple times and all I can say is, it's nice.
I know how you feel about male freind, I danced the eve away with a my mates dad when H was awal, it was heavenly just to be held and feel someone close!
Good news about the feelings of freedom, you do deserve to be free of his bullying and condemnation regardless of what happens to the R
Keep going kiddo you have come through a pretty bad patch and survived another 180 to add to your already growing list.
(())
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
If he stops spewing and being awul, are you still going to work towards reconcile or are you done? Does the OW change that for you? Just wondering. Do you know how long you might be willing?
Why do I have the intuition he still is undecided even though he says he is done?
Because you cannot believe anything they say...it is their actions!!! Same as they will not "listen" to us but they do responds to our "actions".
I think you are a lot like me! I can be sucked into having a conversation so fast! I have talked way too much throughout my sitch and am going to stop! A stupid ex. H asked me "who I got to till the garden" instead of saying "I didn't "get" anyone to do it...it was done when I got home" and leave it at that I said that I didn't ask anyone to do it that our neighbor came over and did it as he wants to make sure he gets his peppers for his salsa this year"
You are sounding better! If there are things (besides your H) that you are wanting out of life, it is time to go get them!!!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
Agree with Gno in principle; however, I've had this experience before and it's worth just noticing that there is a male you met who doesn't spew hate and meanness at you- you do not have to put up with that from someone who "loves" you. Sometimes a small wakeup of seeing other possibilities, that there are some nice people (men) out there in the world- without acting on them- is just food for thought, you know?
(((Hope)))
When the men on the chessboard Get up and tell you where to go; And you've just had some kind of mushroom And your mind is moving slow; Go ask Alice... I think she'll know.
Will do, Gno. You've known her longer than I have, friend.
When the men on the chessboard Get up and tell you where to go; And you've just had some kind of mushroom And your mind is moving slow; Go ask Alice... I think she'll know.
