Your H is sick. He doesn't know what makes him unhappy. He doesn't realize it is inside him. You are the best and nearest target and he has been blaming you for a long time. His outburst is due to the turmoil inside him. He is throwing tantrums because his emtional development is at the stage of a child.
He has learned and has become very good at hiding this from people.
His mother is not even in his camp. That is a very lonely place to be don't you think?
Objectively I have witnessed a cycle of control, manipulation and emotionally abusive behavior with your H. You need to detach completely. THAT's HOW YOU STOP THIS.
You also have legal rights. He can't move back in the house(I don't think) since he has another residence. Check with your L. You can call the cops and I suggest next he does that you do it. What would have happened if your friend wasn't there?
Your M is still in trauma. I would not make any decisions right now about filing etc. Just tell him not to contact you, and you don't contact him until you have completely detached from this R. It is not healthy and it is cycling on the merry-go-round.
You need to take control of this sitch for your own well-being.
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
