I realize how important it is to detach. It's just very difficult.
I do know that I am at a place right now where even if she had a complete change of heart and begged me to come back tomorrow, I couldn't. Not right away. Too much pain and damage has been done. I know it'd be too quick. We need the time apart. I have too much healing, and have identified areas that I need to work on.
But separation to me now is to heal and hopefully come back together. Separation from her is to get the D through as quickly as possible so we can both "pursue happiness".
I'd still like to at least push for an LS rather than D. I know letting go and letting it run its course is what's needed ... but I hate the finality sound of D.
