My convo above was with my sis. Not my W. My sis asked if I had told my W about my detaching or NC I said no. Why? Because of what you said above. She hasn't initiated any contact with me unless it is for necessary stuff. I have been the one contacting up till now. No pursuing just a text like "have great day" or something like that. It isn't much emotional attachement but still is contact that is sending a message "i'm still here."
I did not tell W I was not going to contact her. I agree and have posted this several times it appears needy and weak. Like you hurt me so I'm not going to talk to you.
I am not enagaging in strategy here (and some may disagree) I believe you have to live what you say. Strategies are just that unless you live it.
I am ready to detach more than I have been detaching. In other words I wasn't ready to drop all communication when I started but have moved to not even wanting (or needing) to send even an innocuous text like "have a nice day". As you put it I'm too busy with my life. I believe it is a neccesary step in the LBS healing process and if it awakens the WAS. So be it...
Your strategy is spot on and I agree. It sometimes is a process getting there as is evidenced on these forums but you do need to get there eventually.
I did make one mistake and that was engaging in this discussion with a WAS. My sister. I would NEVER have that discussion with my W but wanted to lock swords with my sis a bit to see where she took me. I thought it was interesting to share it here.
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
