james217,

The stress on you can mess you up too. I know. Plus the emotional crap can really mess you up. She's gotta be the one to not want to be like that.

One thing if you are going to be up on her, is invite some "stable" long term and married couples to be around you guys.

Do it for a while, if she just doesn't want to engage with stable people in long term relationships then thats a strong sign.

Keep talking with us. Get outside a little.