through our discussions, she feels that H doesn't feel like he measures up in our marriage. she suggested that i let the dust settle...let H know through actions that i get that we're getting divorced but still be playful, exude positive energy, be interesting, don't talk about R at all (if he brings it up, just acknowledge and affirm)...this is based on her expertise and also that we know that he reacts well during these times (he'll be extra nice and do kind things for me).
it does make a lot of sense, it works, and i like it but is that me still trying to "fix" situation?
I think the answer to that depends on your motivation for doing so.
If you are trying to be happy and upbeat because you want him to see you as a happier person and to choose to be with you -- in other words, you're doing it for his benefit -- then it's fixing.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
