No problem Kissak. You have been hurt enough. I do believe in reconciling..and will probably always be cautious for you.. but GOD is the one who SEES into the heart, you know??
I also believe that through this WE HAVE TO change as well. FOR OURSELVES!!! you know??
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Hmm too much time around X I think. NO no fairy tale dreams..but thinking too much. TIME to "go away" for away and not talk or spend linger longer time... time for me to back away so I dont get hurt.
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
Up and down, up and down. The emotional roller coaster can really drag LBS down especially if you have been on the ride 3+ years. Hang in there friend. This ride has to break down soon.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Terrible hard weekend. Physically exhausted. Man sadness stinks!!
I know this is just another layer of acceptance and growing... just so much work. I understand now why people run from pain, hurt etc. BUT at some point you have to face stuff.
This entire thing has brought me to have to deal with so much more then just my x leaving. The work that i have done will pay off.. it has already - but so tired.
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
Hey Cagz, I find that when I get angry about my situation, I do better. When I wake up in the morning and say, I am done feeling bad. I am done letting this man dictate the quality of my life. I am done feeling sorry for my situation. I am done living like this. I will become the person I want to become, etc... Self-affirmations can be very powerful. They have to be repeated everyday several times. Find a statement that empowers you and when you think of ex, say the statement.
We can control our feelings, it is difficult, but with practice our moods can be less cycling. Our behavior is determined by our thoughts. We need to change our thoughts. This has helped me alot.
Also, I am reading this outstanding book. It has helped me so much. It is called "Praying for those you Love" by Jack Hayford. If you want I would be happy to send you my copy when I am done. It is excellent and fits so well into the healing of a LBS.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
