There is no hurry on the e-mail. I would hold off until you get legal counsel. The email isn't the only work that needs done, you need to work on yourself so you can make healthy choices for yourself and your kids. Its NOT easy to say no to a spouse whom you miss and is hurting you.. its believe it or not VERY HARD to DO... but you need to get your emotional and physical health in a place where you can do that.
I think 4luv was doing some research on avoiding manipulation.
My number one point about avoiding manipulation is avoid talking in real time... use email so you have time to process what's being said and think of a response. If you have a live conversation you don't have time to do any of that.
That's just one tactic.
And ya, 500 bucks a month is a lot.. that's six THOUSAND bucks a YEAR... And this is only the expenses you KNOW about.. he is very likely using up a LOT MORE you don't know about.
I know it hurts to see those numbers, but that's the reality of what he's doing. Puppy Dog Tails talks at length about the financial damage infidelity and waywardness does to a home. It's not just emotional damage, it can bring financial ruin into your family too.
I know you want to let H know how you feel, but this is about strategy, not you feeling better short term. I don't think it is good for YOU to send it without legal counsel first. I think it will lead YOU to feel WORSE later on if your husband gets difficult from the email. I think its best for YOU to find out all your legal options. Once you have a FT and can talk in person with someone you will find that helpful too.
You are protecting your children and yourself, that's more important than the rush you will get from sending out one email. Knowing your family is being protected as best they can be.. .that's the goal here isn't it?
