SC, I've thought that something has been completely off w/your h since your first posting. My personal opinion? I think he likes being in control and jerking you around. He likes the idea of knowing that you are there for him and would do just about anything to have him back in the relationship. He really thinks he's got it made....if you go back and read your postings, it's all about what he wants and when he wants it. I may be wrong, but I do not think he's actually thinking about you, what you want or how the children are dealing with this situation.
In his mind, he has to prove to himself that this will not work. He wants to be able to say that he gave it his best shot and then run again. Keep in mind, appearances are everything to them during this time and they do not want to look like the bad guys. They want "joe public" to think that they've done everything they could to save the marriage. Oh, yeah...he's working on the relationship!
Listen to your gut instincts...they will not lead you down the wrong path.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
