also, wanted to throw this out there to get your perspective. i've been working with DB coach and she has some very interesting techniques that make a lot of sense (how to respond to his behaviors, being less intense, etc). through our discussions, she feels that H doesn't feel like he measures up in our marriage. she suggested that i let the dust settle...let H know through actions that i get that we're getting divorced but still be playful, exude positive energy, be interesting, don't talk about R at all (if he brings it up, just acknowledge and affirm)...this is based on her expertise and also that we know that he reacts well during these times (he'll be extra nice and do kind things for me).
it does make a lot of sense, it works, and i like it but is that me still trying to "fix" situation?
Me 30, H34, M7years Bomb dropped 5/09, S8/09, Living together 2/10 (due to external forces)
