you think you can't setup boundaries as is, well I'll say you're a fool then. Of course you can, "I'm not going to be in an open relationship and I'm not going to share you with the OM, if you really want to be with him so badly, you should be with him, I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me so be with him. I also think you should move out, I'll help you pack your things, it's time for me to prepare for living the single life and that means not living with you anymore, when can you move out? Also have you spoken to a divorce attorney yet? If you haven't, you should probably get on that too, no I won't help pay for that - since you chose to have an affair you can choose to pay for a divorce as well, we're also going to start splitting up the finances immediately as well, I don't need to share my energy, time and resources with you anymore."
There, how's that for boundaries, saying it like it is, regardless of whatever information she shares.
