hillockjohn:
From what I have heard on these boards, I am not sure that I have heard of a succesful outcome for any HD man in our boat. Literally, us guys are expected to fix every freakin' possible problem in our marriages and then, and only then will there even be the possiblility of improvement. It seems that of the 5 different types of love, 4 of them involve only emotional issues that can be resolved by us guys with hard work. These are things that don't come naturally for us guys, but if we put our minds to it, I think we are up to the challenge. The HARDEST love language to learn is "TOUCH"(sex). This requires both emotional and the PHYSICAL ability to acheive this love language. SO first the women must get her head in the right frame of mind. Then she must not have physical problems. Then her hormones must not be run amuck. Then her body image must be good. From seeing what my wife is battling, its like the list of potential roadblocks on this love language are ENDLESS.
I hope that I am up to this task. Maybe I will be the first guy to actually win this battle. I am not going anywhere for the time being, so what else can I do.
REad any relationship expert on the web. Many of them basically don't even TRY to tell you how to fix a HD/LD relationship where the man is the HD. Even in Michele's books, the first thing she tells you even before you read her stratigies is to have empathy, walk in their shoes (I think this is code for set YOUR sights really LOW if you want to find a solution to make this tolerable). Unfortunately for me, I have set my sights much higher, I would be happy if she was 50% of the woman she once was. I wish I could be more optimisitic, I really, really would like to hear from a man that has gotten his sex life back to where he wants it, rather then it's tolerable, or better yet, "I realize that there is more to marriage then sex", the total cop out answer.
