Surviving & Thriving

[sandycay]

It's final ~ I am now officially Ms. Sandycay!

I haven't heard from EX since we signed on Friday. He has called 10 times and never left a message and has not contacted the kids since last Wednesday. I guess it is not important.

5 days shy of our 19th anniversary. Emotions are weird... not sad.... about him anymore....had years to grieve that....sad about the loss of the family unit..... but we were not that.

We were broken as a family.... so much tension, stress and hostility from him that we ALL turned on each other. Now, that he is out of the equation.... we are always laughing till our bellies hurt, doing stupid, silly stuff. Not caring about the silly things that life throws our way.

In a nutshell, his number showed up on our caller id again last night and D saw it and said, "Yech, he called"? Those are their feelings... I have alwas stepped in and said don't be disrespectful and mean to your dad. I won't be taking up for his actions anymore and I won't be forcing my kids to like someone who has so little disregard for them. I will never say anything negative about their dad in front of them.

I never have. If they ask question I will tell the truth.

I hope he wakes up and becomes the dad my wonderful kids deserve but if he doesn't that's ok because I'm one hell of a good mom and have raised two great kids (practically on my own) I will not let him take that away. All I have to do is listen to their laughter and their sillies and know no~one will EVER tell my children to stop laughing again because it's too much noise.

I am at peace and I will be forever grateful for my EX who is a very generous man with his money, and that he is providing a wonderful home and not much of a change in lifestyle for the children and me. He did not have to do that, but he did. He chose to do that. That's the man I have known for 19 years. I am feeling blessed and grateful for the memories ... good and bad (they made me a better person).

Thanks for the hand holding especially during the reconcillation phase there were a lot of dark cloud days during those 18 months.

I have survived and thrived!