Found it. Thanks June. The problem is if he was dead, I think I would be able to move on better. I don't want anything to ever happen to him whether we get back together or not. But I'm standing for my M and that is the hard part. I never lived on my own this long in my life. Plus I always had a boyfriend or a relationship, so I think why this is hard on me.
It has been 17 months with no one in my life and it is a struggle but I do believe in standing for my M. God forbid but if he had died at least I know that he loved me and the kids and that I would be able to move on and not be breaking any vows. That is what the struggle is on my part.
