MLC or not?

[june72]

I guess the only thing you can do for now is live your life your you! Not live your life for your hubby.
I think it is important to have as little contact as possible adn the contact that you do have - have a calm demeanor, validate and set boundaries.

He does not respect you. When someone does not respect you they do not value you. In order to gain his respect back you can not put up with his "cr@p".

The pining away over him is not attractive to him. If he knows that he can have you whenever he wants- he has no desire to work on himself. Why should he- you are still available to him.
But if you are unavailable to him and he still finds that he is miserable- he can not longer blame you and the M. He must look at himself as the cause.

If I were in this sitch- I would chose to be happy, live an active social life, casually date, exercise, take up hobbies. I would work on "healing myself". There an be no moving forward till you change the dynamic that there is b/t you adn hubby.

I posted something on Flowmom's thread that my MC stated 2 years ago. Should be pretty recent. Can you read that also?


I will tell you this....
What is not working- you being so available an pinning away over him. Has it worked for you up to now? Will it work for you in the future?

If you do serious changes- he may or may not take notice. That is basically the best chance you have.

Work on making youself happy. If he sees you very content and happy he will really questionwhy he is still miserable. He will eventually (hopegfully) get that you are not the cause of his unhappiness.....
He has to get this.. the only way you can facilitate that is by moving onto a better mental place and positive calm interactions and very little contact....


So hard to do, I know... but you can do it. Many others have.


Is you are truly truly desperate to get him back. This is the only method you can take. And it may or may not lead to success, IMO.