I was wondering if anyone had an opinion on whether there is truly a workable compromise when a LD spouse has no interest in sex at all and the other spouse has a sex drive. Any suggestions would be interesting to consider, because I seem to have come to a dead end after many years of trying to cope with the situation.
In my sitution, my wife has made it clear that she does not have any interest in sex anymore (due to low hormones)and would like to never have sex. We had an active sex life until about 10 years ago, but when our kids were going into high school, it began to disappear and for the last five years we have had virtually no sex life. I consider myself a reasonably romantic husband, we travel, and have an active social life.
She intellectually understands that it is not abnormal for me to have a sex drive, but feels it is somehow degrading for her to have to partake in any sexual activity at all because she has no interest. She indicates that she grits her teeth and permits limited sexual activity a few times a year, but she does this only out of a sense of guilt and as part of her wifely duties. She really resents feeling that she "has to do this". She feels the marriage is great otherwise and would like to carry on without a sex life entirely.
I have suggested numerous times trying to work out a compromise, but she really feels that a compromise means that she has to partake in something which she has no interest in and this is no compromise.
I am at a loss in what to suggest that would be a workable compromise. It would appear that if we were to have any form of intimate contact she would be totally resentful. She doesn't believe in HRT for a variety of reasons.
On the one hand she doesn't feel like she should be "required" to have sexual activity if she has no interest. On the other hand, I feel that I am being robbed. She understands my position and I understand hers. Is there any solution?
