Thank you for your response. Yeah, I suspect that when I (focus on "I") have a positive feeling towards her that I should allow those feeling to be expressed. Not with any expectation but just because that is how I feel.
Yes I am in a better place right now but by now means is the work over. I know that I have a long way to go...yep...very long but it is the length of TIME that is to my advantage. I NOW know this. I will say it was one hell of road to travel to finally get to the place that I am at but one that I guess needed to be traveled.
Mach - spot on - NO EXPECTATIONS. NONE. Everything I do these days is for me and my kids. Yes I still have hope that a NEW M can be formed but it it does not then so be it - either way I am different and will be different. At the end of day, whenever or if ever she is done with her walk down the MLC road, she too will be different. God willing these two different people can connect again but this is outside of my control.
"how much more it will hurt to get dragged backward over those steps."
Yep - I am not going down that path again. Trust me. I love her and myself enough to finally realize that I only control my actions and responses to her actions - detaching and finally focusing on me has finally allowed me to separate myself from her issues. Can she still manage to push a button? Yes I suspect she can but that is only if I allow her to. Once again I finally realize that I control me - nor her.
Yep - I think I'm learning how to fish. I may not be able to go shark fishing yet but I am sure I can catch a goldfish in my fish tank Hey it's progress.
In terms of the "new Eric" - I'm still trying to figure that guy out. What I can tell you, is that he is still the same handsome, sexy chap Just kidding just kidding.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Hey it's progress.
