MLC or not?

[june72]

Goodfight,
I read through all of your threads up to page 5 of this thread.

You are spinning so much. Codependency? I see a lot of people givng you great advice but some how you are so stuck. Fixated too much on him.

I have to ask you. How would you live if he was dead? B/c that is how you should live.

My sitch and you rsitch are extremely different b/c my hubby never left, wasn't drinking and was always about the kids. We also had sex on and off and sometimes there were be signs of affection towards me.....

I have little knowledge of MLC. Not sure if it is real or not. It doesn't matter to me. There is still accountability. If a person murders someone and is depressed they are still held responsible. MLC is not an excuse to treat your famiy badly. Just isn't in my opinion. And if a person is spiraling downward- you may want to help them- you can't you have to step aside adn say I am here if you need me but I will leave you to it.
Make sense?


As everyone has said over and over and over- you are too fixated on him. I am sorry but it's true. There is nothing more you can do at this time. You can control your interactios with him but little more. The ONLY thig you can do is focus on you and your children.

I know these things are easy to type on a message board but harder to live by.
That is why the "fake it till you make it" mantra is so true. What would make you happy (not including your hubby) in your life. For anxiety (speaking as some one who lived with sever panic attacks) listening to comedy tapes while driving helps or really fun music, talking alot on the phone to friends, hard exercise, meditation. GALing may be hard at first but the more you do the more you will want to do. Have you joined any meetup.com groups? Like potluck dinners or movies or coffee meetups, maybe a hiking meetup. My mother always told me something- in the old days- mental institutions had the patients scrubbing hte floors b/c an idle mind can lead to sadness. Busy (not too busy) people are happy.


I don't know if this man will ever get better or not. You can't keep holding your breath waiting. Exhale, live on. Read mb28's latest post- she states it perfectly.

He has left 18 months ago, has been emotionaly and verbaly abusive, not giving CS, Ding you, drinking, not contacting the children, upsetting the children, lying to you, looking to date, etc, etc

Read what mb28 just postded on her thread.....

The advice is move on but leave the road home paved smoothly. Detach, GAL, focus on you and family, work on PMA. Any interaction with him has to be very controled on your end. Do not take baits. Practice how you will react to him....


I have to step out for a sec- young one screaming for me....