There are no boundaries because we aren't reconciling according to her. I am at the "I don't like the actions, but I love the woman"
You misunderstand boundaries, Mr. Peabody. You do not have to be reconciling in order to implement boundaries; in fact, they're probably even MORE important, to protect yourself, during the wayward phase. Look up Coach's excellent thread on "Boundaries" for some good examples, but some, from my sitch, might be "No texting or calling OM from inside our house," "No texting or calling OM in front of the kids from ANYWHERE," "no spending family funds on an affair" (alt.: "I will not pay to financially enable your affairs"), etc.
The more details we have, the better we can help you. There are always things that you can do to make yourself more anonymous.
