LSG I think you said it best and it really is how I feel I think. It is just very difficult since we have been together so long and it is very difficult to not be able to touch my wife intimately for fear of a reaction or pushing her away. The longest we have gone without contact like this in 20+ years was 2 days. Now it has been 5 1/2 months. It really hurts but I have to deal with it I guess. Sometimes I rant, but at least I am in the house with her and things are getting better, I think. An I am with her and my son. For the most part we act like we are together, but the lack of closeness is weighing on me as I know it is on you guys too.
Cesoco, I have been reading your threads, and I hear you man. I understand where you are comming from and it is good to hear this kind of support from you guys.
Sandi, thanks for the input. I understand what you are saying and it has been more than a month. It has been a month since I was on this forum, but I had 2 books read before I got on here. I did the stereotypical go read a book and it will fix everythnig. It helped, but nothing fixes everything. Yes I turned my life around 180 in a month and 1/2. I hit rock botom and knew that my last support I had, my wife, was now gone and I had to do something. The DR book helped a TON. I felt like my heart stopped and then someone used the defibrillator on me. That shock changed my life. For whatever reason, for the first time in my life I saw what I needed to do and what I needed to change and I did it. I felt like the guy who when he saw his wife stuck under a wrecked car, had superhuman strength and picked the car up to free her. Am I done? By no means, I think it will be a work in progress until I die. But my wife has noticed and complimented me on all of the changes I have made. The biggest one I need to make now is get my out-of-shape butt back in the gym and get back into soccer playing condition. FOR ME!! but it will not hurt things between her and I. Thank you everybody for your comments and support, it really helps!!!!!!!
