Looking for help with WAW

[mza8]

Gucci and Sandi, thanks for checking in again. Sandi, I hope you are feeling better.

I agree with you both that she is blowing me off but I think she was being honest about having plans last night and the yoga class tonight. That's what I meant about her not BSing me that she had plans. I definitely got it that she turned down my invitation to workout together or dinner. No problem, she's obviously not ready. I tried the advice of my C to try to test the waters. It's not time yet so I'll back off. Yes, it was pursuing but it was such a quick question to her and when she said no I dropped it.

Even though it is crumbs that she offered to meet at the house tonight, isn't that at least her showing some small positive sign? We went from her not wanting to be around me one on one to her offering to meet with me? Yes, I know that I initiated it and suggested several options but she did offer her own plan to meet. As I said, I would have been controlling in the past and wanted dinner with her. I realize I am in no position to demand anything from her right now.

I wonder what has brought about the positive changes with W towards me lately. I wonder if it's because I am DBing and it's starting to work or if it's something else? Since agreeing to sell the house she has communicated much more with me. Who knows? I can't read her mind. The advice I get from my DB coach and C is so different than some of the advice I read on these boards. I asked this question to my DB coach and C, are these positive signs/changes from my W real or just patronizing? They both think these are good things. Again, who knows for sure? I do know that it is better than where we were months ago. Isn't the point to continue building in a positive direction?

What I don't want to do is make the classic mistake of looking for more from my W too fast just because I see some positive signs. I know this will just push her away again. Such a difficult balance sometimes to continue to back completely off or try small things to see if my W responds. My C once again offered to meet with my W individually for a session if she wants to and then try to meet together. W and I haven't even mentioned C since I talked about it with her about a month ago. I had asked her about it and she didn't give me an answer.

It's been 6 months now. Things seem to be improving as far as more communication, being friendlier, etc. I don't know how this will end. God knows I'm trying.