The journey begins

[ClingingToHope]

Second mediation session in 30 minutes. I'm not sure what will happen now that a settlement conference is set up. Interesting email from W this morning. She's applying for a loan and if it doesn't go through then she can only give me $129 right now towards our tax bill -- we're filing for an extension because we owe $1,090.

This is an ominous sign for the settlement conference if she's already broke since my attorney told hers were looking for a break on child support.

My goal for the mediation session is to listen, listen and listen. W felt like she wasn't being heard last time. If she continues to harp on Sundays then I'm going to say there's no use today because I won't budge.

The only example I'll bring up is D11's theater stuff. In the winter, she's typically in plays by a Christian theater group. For three to four months, they rehearse every Friday night and Saturday morning. So if it's my weekend, I wouldn't see her until late Friday, wouldn't see how much of Saturday and then would have to return her sometime on Sunday.

That's just not enough time.

D11 forgot her social studies book last night and had a field trip today so I swung by the house at 6:40 a.m. to pick her up and take her to school so she could finish the homework before the bus left.

It's always good to get extra time.

After I left I did a little shopping since I have the girls tonight and I got down a little bit. It seems like every time I do something like this -- adjust my schedule to help the girls and STBXW -- I get a wave of sadness. I just don't know how things got so bad STBXW wants to throw away her and their futures.

Together, we make enough that both would be able to go to 4-year colleges and take a big family trip every two years.

Apart? Well, they'll be lucky to have $15,000 or so when college starts, which means community college first and then a lot of student loans to finish.

Vacations? Well, STBXW's mom might scrape up money to take them to New York in a couple of years. I'll always have Fort Myers as a fallback. Stuff like that is going to fall on me. I've always been the saver/planner.

She finally sent me a tentative summer schedule. The week she wants to go with her friend to Sturgis she would have them stay with her mom at a campground South of here. At least I wouldn't have to pay. I have to get that week out of my mind. We actually could be divorced by then. I now hope so. I wouldn't my actual wife hanging out with drunk biker dudes for a week.