Show of hands - expose or not - success stories

[saffie]

I agree with your post above Allen apart from the fact that I don't think he is getting a free pass back in. I kind of think that passenger's current actions are driving her H away.

As for the competitive nonsense. Ok - your H might act like a jacka$$ when he wins but SO WHAT. My dad is exactly the same, and you know what - no-one admires him when he wins, they just know he is a jacka$$ and shrug and walk away. It's just ONE of his many facets. Others are good, and if the good outweighs the bad then you forgive certain actions and just know that that is a bit of that person's personality.

Now when it comes to an A and acting like a jacha$$ - that you don't shrug your shoulders at and ignore, which you haven't.

I think slightly differently from Allen in that I would use the carrot mentality to lure H home and remind him of what you had, and then I think/hope he will feel remorse and apologise and be willing to work on preventing this happening again. I think if you keep using the stick he will not want to return as it reinforces everything he say's he is feeling about the M.

Your H likes family night - maybe MORE family occasions could be arranged - and if he shows a preference then go with the flow. If he wins at something then let it be.....in fact I would almost let him win whatever, (inside he knows he is making a fool out of himself when he gloats about winning).

We have movie nights in, and cards nights etc. The more you do as a family, if your H chooses not to include himself, the more lonely he will feel, and the more of an fool he will look to family and friends.

BTW, I would be careful about GALing with other guys - your H might backfire that on you even when it is innocent. Also the guys might get the wrong idea. The fact that you and H have so many common interests is a bonus - do something with it - don't use it against the mending of the M.

Like Allen, when I look at your H's actions I do think that he isn't really wanting to leave at all and I do think he is enjoying watch you squirm. How you make him squirm back is to live your life well and not rise to the bait.