I just read your posting...I appreciate your thoughts as well and can see what you are saying but in the end I do believe that IF my husband puts in ALOT of WORK then he can improve and have healthy relationships. Its going to be WORK. I have thought about honestly letting it go but no matter what future relationship I get in with another man there will ALWAYS be some risk. I at least owe it to my son to see if his father is willing to do some HARD work to keep our family. No this is probably the hard path and if we weren't married I can honestly say that I would have rather cut my losses, suffered through a breakup, and then moved on without this. I don't know how to ever trust him again but I can't even cross that road right now. I haven't even began to THINK about trust. Even with a transparency plan I don't know.
Oh and one other step I forgot to mention is I need husband to file for joint custody of his son with OW, set up CS through the courts, and set up a visitation schedule through the courts. I feel more comfortable with this because everything is laid out through the courts and it eliminates all the back and forth between OW and husband negotiating with each other about the child. This is also a first requirement. If he balks at this request then I will KNOW that he isn't anywhere near serious.
Me: 28 H: 32 1st marriage 4 both 1 1/2 year married 2gether for 9 1S: 6months 1stepson: 2yo
