The dreaded LIMBO

[4luv]

I just had a conversation with my dad and he basically said all the things Allen said. I am VERY skeptical of the entire conversation with husband now that I had time to sleep and think it over. I do want my marriage but I don't want to be manipulated again and my dad pointed out that husband probably said all those things so that it wouldn't be awkard between him and I at our son's bday party. Remember that no one in his family besides his mom and none of his friends even know that we are separated. So I am going to see how it plays out with him over the next few weeks and months. However, I feel that eventually I will have to throw my cards in and play and see how it turns out.


So my plan is this (and yes I would like feedback):

1. Ask my FT for a recommendation of a FT or IC in husband's area. My FT used to work in the state/city where husband currently lives so I figure he might have some recommendations.

2. Give husband the recommended FT's number and then that will be all the "work" I will put in. Tell husband that it is up to him to get help.

3. Stay dim/dark with husband until he has at least a good 2 months in therapy and starts to recognize the damage that he really caused (btw Allen, I got the same message during husband's talk that he JUST DOESN'T GET IT). I will continue to focus on my son and my new business. THis seems to be what got husband's attention too. So I will continue to do what works.

4. Stay at my parent's house for the next 5 months (I don't think I can make it for 6months...actually 5 months is gonna be a struggle!)Re-evaluate things with my husband after that amount of time.

So any other steps I should add? Oh and I like the line that Allen used so I will tell that to husband the next time we have a talk or through email "You have serious work to do and once you have done that work I will see where we stand regarding our marriage and working things out."