"Gabe, those first hot bootie calls morphed my mind from brains into fruitie balls. But now a soulless bootie call feels more like a duty call in some sad patootie stall. Feels like kooties y'all. So, best get used to my ain't-gonna-be-more-bootie wall. Sorry you can't F-U me doll."
I decided to not say anything to him yet. I need to let this roll around my head a little longer to make sure I am definite in my decision.
Besides you all the only other person that knows what is going on is my BFF. I talked to her yesterday afternoon and told her how concerned I am that my emotions are getting stirred up and that I know I can't continue this without hurting myself deeply. She agrees with me on that but told me that she won't give me any advice on the subject because she doesn't want to influence me one way or the other since this is so important. Sounds just like you all!!! LOL!
Last night we went to the store together to pick some stuff up and when we got back we watched a little tv and then I needed to get to bed. I was trying to get the dog into my room and Gabe had followed me and then hovered in the doorway of my bedroom. He seemed to be waiting for something but I'm not about to be a mindreader so I just told him goodnight and he closed the door. I went back out and asked him why he had followed me to my room and hovered there and he said he was just making sure the dog got in ok (the dog had been a little sick last night). I called BS on him and he finally said he didn't know if he was invited to sleep in the bed with me or if I wanted him on the couch. Hmmmmm.....not really sure what to do with that.
More thinking, more processing. All I know for sure is that I'm confused! How is that?
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
I decided to not say anything to him yet. I need to let this roll around my head a little longer to make sure I am definite in my decision.
Besides you all the only other person that knows what is going on is my BFF. I talked to her yesterday afternoon and told her how concerned I am that my emotions are getting stirred up and that I know I can't continue this without hurting myself deeply. She agrees with me on that but told me that she won't give me any advice on the subject because she doesn't want to influence me one way or the other since this is so important. Sounds just like you all!!! LOL!
Last night we went to the store together to pick some stuff up and when we got back we watched a little tv and then I needed to get to bed. I was trying to get the dog into my room and Gabe had followed me and then hovered in the doorway of my bedroom. He seemed to be waiting for something but I'm not about to be a mindreader so I just told him goodnight and he closed the door. I went back out and asked him why he had followed me to my room and hovered there and he said he was just making sure the dog got in ok (the dog had been a little sick last night). I called BS on him and he finally said he didn't know if he was invited to sleep in the bed with me or if I wanted him on the couch. Hmmmmm.....not really sure what to do with that.
More thinking, more processing. All I know for sure is that I'm confused! How is that?
hmmm this is interesting...
to be quite honest I'm slightly shocked..
and more than a little confused..
you actually thinking reconciliation?? even with him texting another woman while with you??
Last edited by M from Tennessee; 04/14/1002:16 PM. Reason: and because I can't spell
hmmmmm dont think that you should have gone out and asked him anything......you should have stayed in that bed, door shut....and I think part of the confusion is the sex.......saying that I still love you!
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
I don't really know what I want now. I'm scared out of my mind. How's that for honesty?
I just know that it would be stupid of me to slam the door shut tight as a knee jerk reaction to the fear. What if I change my mind? So, I'm just taking this decision slowly.
BBJ, I told him that was up to him and left it at that. He stayed on the couch.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
"I don't really know what I want now. I'm scared out of my mind. How's that for honesty? "
Much better.
"I just know that it would be stupid of me to slam the door shut tight as a knee jerk reaction to the fear."
Given you don't know what you want, I agree that it is good not to let fear drive your actions.
Now, given you are toying with being open to reconciliation, here is something you need to know. Suppose 3 years from now you have a fabulous M with Gabe. No matter what, between now and then, he will have to learn how to function in a committed monogomous R. He hasn't done that for a very long time. He will screw up. You will get impatient. It is possible that you could both succeed in getting to where you'd like to see things. But, again, no matter what, between now and then, he will have to learn, and part of the learning will include screwing up. I can pretty much guarantee you of that. So, YOUR CHOICE. Set up your boundaries, consequences for violating them, etc... For reconciliation to be possible at all, you have to allow time for screw ups and growth. But that doesn't mean going into doormat mode.
Matt -- lol, how could you possibly be surprised?? Come on... A divorced LBS spouse doesn't invite a WAH home and sleep with him if that kind of idea isn't lurking around. Pretty obvious I'd say from the day he moved back in...
Matt -- lol, how could you possibly be surprised?? Come on... A divorced LBS spouse doesn't invite a WAH home and sleep with him if that kind of idea isn't lurking around. Pretty obvious I'd say from the day he moved back in...
OT...If this is to me.....Mike...then this is why I'm shocked...
I am of the opinion that old dogs can't learn new tricks...I am also of the opinion that once they cheat..they will always cheat..especailly if they had an easy time doing it in the first place..
and I know for a fact that there is no cure for
"batchitt crazy"
IMO...if an LBS truly made changes in themselves for the better why in the world would they invite the misery that is a WAS back into your life...
because of comfort?? because you're scared?? because you don't think you can do better??
standing ovation mike............that is print out to keep on hand worthy right there!!!! I sure miss your insight lol!!!
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
Um, I must be a little late coming up to bat here but I'M CONFUSED! Mishka, the impression I have is that you live with your WAS, who therefore must have returned for some reason that apparently is not due to reconciliation. Recently, you two did the deed and NOW you're confused???? How can you live with your WAS and not be confused? Am I way off here...someone please explain because I know I'm confused!!!!
LOL!