I think you should just sit quietly and wait. The answers will definitely fall into your lap if you are patient. Mermaid knows that we all use to say to sit quietly and things will be revealed to you. This is so true.
I was curious as to why your h continued to say you couldn't move into the city where he lived. I wanted to know just what the hang up was about all of that. I can understand you not wanting to up root the children and, of course, your position will not be easy to give up either.
It's going to be a tough decision to make, but I do believe if you sit quietly, you will be given the answers that you will need to decide what you and your children will need to do.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Is this disrespectful or am I making too much of it?
When WH left, he took my pic off his cell phone, and changed the ring-tone to an emergency sound. When we tried reconciling he put it to normal. Lately he has it again without a picture, and again with the emergency sound. He thinks it's funny.
So he wants to reconcile, but he's still belittling me and finding it funny.
He wants to go on a date, but it's in his city, and I don't have babysitting, so I'd have to leave the kids in his apartment until late at night then afterwards by the time I get them packed up and home they will be sooo very tired for school the next day. But if I don't go, it's an opening night thing, he would take someone else probably. That's what men do.
Kids are starting to rebel and miss their friends in the old city. WHAT IS HE THINKING? WHAT AM I DOING?
SCH, when you explain to him how complicated it is for you and the kids, and what impact would this "date" have on the kids and them being tired for school the next day, what does he say?
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Mila, I guess he understands, he would instead just come to my city to hang around the house or go out for something to eat (very small town, not much to do).
But, see, he's "out there" in the big world now, and wants to do these sorts of things (like go to openings) so if it's not me, it will likely end up being someone else. So I feel like I should for "us".
He seems to have completely abrogated his responsibilities to his children, except when he has them on visitation, in which case he's disneyland Dad. They can feel this, that he's being an irresponsible parent, but he (WH) doesn't seem to understand it anymore.
Mila, yes, a good idea, what I ultimately did (through a bit tricky as I had to really search, we don't know anyone here!). Wish me luck.
Something though, just doesn't "feel" right. I know we all want to be in this situation where our WH's are paying attention, and I know I'm dealing with a lot of hurt and all, but still something feels off.
He's scared now that he might loose his job. I asked him how the job search was going to move here, which he said he was going to do, and at first he seemed to have had no clue what I was talking about, then scrambled for words, said different opposing things. WTF?? Is he really trying to live 2 lives indefinately?
SC, this is a hallmark of MLC. The confusion, lapse of memory, etc. Believe nothing of what they say and only half of what they do. It sounds as if your H is still deep in the tunnel.
Does he say why he feels his job is in jeopardy?
You are wise to be on alert because it does sound like there's more to this than what your H is telling you.
If he's still deep in the tunnel, I really don't know how much more of this I can take. Or the kids can take. He is being really selfish, a parody of a husband and father.
The job jeopardy has to do with outside influences on the company. I don't think he's in that much trouble, but he's feeling pressure because of external factors.
I don't know if there's really all that much more to it. I think he just misses us. But he also actually likes living on his own and chasing women.
What exactly is there to do about that? If he enjoys his own company, the opportunties he has to socialize in the big city, the fact that everyone wants to invite a single successful man to their parties, and the chance to have almost any woman he wants for the next 5 years, what am I supposed to do?
