I wish I would have read your post a minute earlier. Just got off the phone with husband. He wanted to talk some more and we discussed a bit what got him to want his marriage. He said that he was selfish and wanted to have both families with his son without really having a commitment to either. He said that it was stressful and he just couldn't take all the back and forth anymore. In the end it came down he knows that he has always loved and wanted to be married to me. He said that another thing that played a part in it was how quiet his new apartment is...how he missed hearing our son and me play together. The biggest thing was...get this...WHEN HE SAW THAT I GOT RID OF MY MARRIED STATUS ON facebook (I did it this past weekend, the photographer showed me how to hide it). He said he didn't want it to get that far. Also with son being sick he said he just couldn't take another blow and that was the final low point when I got rid of my married status. He then said that he knows that building our marriage is gonna be a long road and that he has a lot of work to do. He recognizes that he does have some serious problems that he didn't want to deal with but he is going to see a professional to work through those.
I told him, I wanted to work on the marriage for a long time but I am very cautious and want to take things slow. I told him that trust is the biggest thing for me. He said he wants to be an open book. Now this is where things gets tricky...he actually wants to sit me and OW together to put everything in the open and say that this is the situation. He feels bad for how he messed up everything between his sons' mothers and wants to accept responsibility. He wants to tell her and I face to face that "I am married and am devoted to my wife. I was wrong to drag the both of you in my games but this is what it is. 4luv is my wife and I love her and am committed to her. Our dealings OW are strictly about my son and 4luv will be involved whenever I come to visit or son visits me."
Not sure how I feel about this. This is a very hard situation.
Allen, all the right words for sure.
Me: 28 H: 32 1st marriage 4 both 1 1/2 year married 2gether for 9 1S: 6months 1stepson: 2yo
